Not so Righteous
by soulmatesDC
Summary: Sam just wants his best friend back. Dasey kind of. Short, oneshot, songfic. Check out Itwasonlyakiss profile on youtube for a video based off this fic . . .How to save Sam's life.


A/N: Just another song that got stuck in my head and needed to have a story written to it. It seems that every song I hear reminds me in some way of LWD. Hope you all like it.

Would have named this fic after the song (like "Into the Ocean") but there is already a "How to save a life" on this site. oh well . . .

The Fray – How to save a life

Enjoy and review

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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**Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through   
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
And you begin to wonder why you came**

I'm waiting outside of his house. The car's running. I hope he comes out before I lose my nerve. I had to make up some story for him to actually come out with me. Apparently we need new hockey sticks for the team. And since he ran out before the coach could give him the team's emergency credit card, he is team captain after all, it was given to me because we are 'best friends'. I lied.

He always runs out now though. It's because he doesn't want to see me with her. This has become a frequent occurrence.

Derek gets into the car without a 'hello' or any other form of greeting. But to be honest, I really wasn't expecting one. He would have told me to drop the card off at his house, but he doesn't have a car. And he would never ask her for a ride.

Pulling out of the spot in front of the house, I claim that the radio is broken. I tell myself that the silence is comforting. However, the tension can be cut with a knife. The real reason I don't want music playing is so that I'm sure he would be able to hear me. And so he doesn't raise the volume above my voice. I really don't feel like screaming.

Making our way onto the highway, I look in his direction. Elbow on knee, fist under chin, head facing towards the window. He's an empty shell of what he used to be. Around me at least.

God I miss my best friend.

I have to try to fix this.

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

"What's new?" I ask, knowing full well that he isn't going to answer me. I barely get a nod in the hallways at school. And I know he only talks to me in front of people to keep up appearances. Too many people would question what happened to ten years of friendship that had suddenly gone down the drain.

So, in public, we are right as rain.

I passed the exit to the mall. Derek shifts slightly in his seat. No, of course he can't even talk to me to question my motives.

His ignoring me started about 3 months ago. It all started after our one month anniversary. When did my life get so complicated?

**  
Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you**

"I lied." I tell him, trying to explain my actions. "We actually don't have to pick up anything from the mall."

I wait patiently, but I get nothing. Not even a sideways glance.

So I continue, "I wanted to talk to you. It's been ages you know."

I hate how stubborn he could be.

"I wanted to apologize." And I really do. I saw the looks he gave her. I saw how he felt. I understood what the male code was supposed to mean. But I went for her anyway.

Changing lanes, I sigh. This is going to be harder that I thought. "I didn't think this was going to end our friendship."

He looks at me out of the corner of his eye and scoffs. Seconds later, as if he didn't respond at all, he turns back and continues his engrossment of the scenery.

"Derek, do you have any idea how hard this is for me to do?"

He whispers a no.

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

"Look," I saw as I pull onto the shoulder. I want to make sure he will understand what I plan on saying and I am not going through all this trouble to just die in a car accident because I am too focused on this conversation. That is if he decides to respond. "I made a mistake. I should have thought about what would happen between us. I didn't want to end our friendship. I didn't want to hurt you. I guess I just thought I would take a chance at getting something that either of us could have. I'm sorry. I should have known, bros before hoes right?"

He looks me directly in my eyes and says "she is not a hoe".

I turn back to onto the road and take the next exit. Finding the on ramp in the opposite direction I decide I need to be completely honest with him.

**As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice   
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came**

"I knew," I whisper. He doesn't look at me. "I knew you liked her," I say louder as he stiffens. "I thought she was just another conquest for you. I thought she really wasn't important to you. I thought - "

"Well, obviously you don't know me as well as you thought. Look, if you have a point please get to it soon." He screams, cutting me off.

The next words come out of my mouth barely above a whisper. "I broke up with her." If the car wasn't completely silent he wouldn't have heard me. But his gaping mouth indicates that he did.

"It's wasn't working out between us. We didn't have much chemistry. We don't click," _not like you two do_ I finish in my head.

"I know you won't admit to me that you like her, but I can see it. I'm surprised no one else called you on it yet. You don't treat her like any other girl you dated. You don't look at her like you look at other girls. You just . . . I don't know. But I can tell."

**  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

Somehow we got back to his house a lot faster than expected. Only a few blocks left and I decide to drive the final nail into my coffin. "I'm not saying Casey likes you Derek, but I won't stand in the way anymore. I just want us back to normal. I really do miss you."

Parking in front of his house again I turn to face him, surprised to see him looking right at me.

"I really am sorry Derek. I've know you long enough. I should have seen that Casey meant more than a conquest. I messed up and probably ruined our friendship because of it. I just hope one day we could go back to normal."

**How to save a life  
**

I was shocked to feel Derek's arms wrap me into a hug. And it wasn't a manly hug either. Just before he pulls back he whispers "thanks a lot Sam. And don't worry . . . we'll be fine."

**How to save a life**

I watch him climb out of my car. I follow him with my eyes as he makes his way up to his front door. When he closes it, I see him walking up the stairs in my head. Darting my eyes to Casey's bedroom window, I can almost hear her shriek his name.

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

Driving back home, I think about what I just did. And I realize that I'm not as righteous as Derek might think I am. He was the one who stepped aside first, giving me the chance with her. He was the one who put up with us for an entire month without much complaint. He was the one who had to see us together this whole time. He was the one who had to stand by to see us happy. He sacrificed his own happiness for his best friend's.

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

And then I think about what I said to him, knowing that I lied to him twice today. I know she does like him too. As much as I saw it in him, I saw it in her. I heard it every time she mentioned him.

**How to save a life**

That's when I realize how selfish I actually am. Because I don't really care if they end up together. I don't really care if they will one day be happy.

**How to save a life**

I just want my best friend back.


End file.
